The Best Night Of My Life

I figured the best post for me to do on this long-neglected drinking blog would be to tell you about one of the best & most fun nights I have ever had. Of course, I was with Patsy Darling.

We were in Aruba with my husband (Hub) and her ex, F&A (Fat & Annoying). All week we had been dying to go on the bus we had seen around the island, the Kukukunuku Bus. Finally we convinced the guys to go. So it cost like $35 per person and it gives you dinner, entry and one drink at each of 3 bars, and transportation around the island. Oh yeah, and you get to go see the lighthouse and the sunset there.


The bus, approaching our hotel.

So we board the bus, already with drinks in hand. The bus is pretty quiet, but most people are drinking. We start drinking heavily. Picture this: the bus is like an old 50's bus with all the windows taken out, maracas stuck into the window frames, and the bus is painted all crazy. So we are drinking, and music is blaring out of this thing. We go first to the lighthouse for the sunset...beautiful, blah blah blah. All I know is that they are giving out glasses of champagne so I go and get me a whole bottle. We drink that. Then we go for dinner. That is when the really heavy drinking starts. We start getting really hammered as we get back in the bus to go to the next stop. And you see, you can bring drinks onto the bus, so before we left dinner, we ordered several drinks to go.


Me, just starting to get my drink on. Yep, I look sober, but I am not.

The bus is a little rowdier now. Everyone is standing up and drinking and singing and dancing to the music as the bus rumbles through the island. We come to a traffic circle, and the driver goes around and around and around it...probably 5 times. We are screaming and shaking the maracas out the window, cars are beeping at us, Arubians are waving at us.


The inside of the bus.

We get to the next bar, and that's where my memory kinda fades because of just how much I drank. Here is what I do remember:

- There was this newlywed couple that was SO quiet and reserved at first. They were kinda tagging along with us but were so mouselike that we didn't even really know they were there. By the end of the night, they were hammered and singing and dancing with us like we had been friends forever. We know that they still think of us fondly as the chicks who made their honeymoon fun.
- Patsy and I danced with the Samoan-like bus driver in a very provocative manner at one of the bars.
- I spanked F&A at another bar.
- The ticket-girl from the bus gave Hub a lap dance.
- We had everyone on our bus chanting things at the other bus (there were two buses that went together). We would yell ladylike things such as "Our bus rules! Your bus sucks!" and then our entire bus would join in.
- We were standing on the seats and dancing, shaking our maracas. At one point, I was standing on the seat and hanging out the window when we took a sharp turn and I nearly fell out of the bus. Seriously. Luckily, Hub is so afraid I will cheat on him that he never takes his eyes off me. So he was able to save my life. Thank God for insane jealousy!
- I invited a whole bunch of people from the bus back to our hotel to party with us. Hub was not amused.
- When we did get back to the hotel, we bribed the security guard with some beer to let us go in the pool at 2:30 a.m.


Rocking out with the cock out.

Basically, from what I recall, this was the most fun I have ever had. So Patsy and I decided that we needed to go on the bus every night of our lives. So...ok, $35 per person, we could make that by bringing towels to sunbathers or something...and we could sleep on the beach...and dinner was included...all we need is $35 per day and we can be happy for the rest of our lives!

Alas, this plan did not come to fruition, but we are still young(ish) and there is still time.

So....email us your drunken stories, would ya? Holdmyhair@gmail.com. Do it now. Don't make us shake our maracas at you.